Riding on the wave and getting blown away

I am experiencing something rather bizzare of late. In fact, just today, perhaps an hour ago. Some perhaps minor event, triggering an emotional rush which would be capable of evoking a eruption in me, suddenly stopped in its tracks as it stared at me. I wasn't sure whether I was analysing it or the other way round but I halted in the same way it stopped for a split second. There was a consciousness in me at that moment which gave me the power to decide if I should accept the adrenaline. But, being vengeful and accustomed to denying defeat, I let it go through me, which makes that moment of 'enlightenment' more insignificant than it really should be. Nonetheless, speaking in a tone as though I have no control of my feelings and emotions and without implying otherwise, I believe I would remain vengeful till perhaps this Sunday. God knows what cruelty would my thoughts churn out in the next hours, which would deprive me of rest and sleep. By the way, I am a free thinker, leaning towards the side of atheism.