Monochrome

Life is too hectic recently; I need a short stop.

Sunset Of May 28th

Pinkish red and yellowish orange outside my open window today.

15 minutes

Some things are worth waiting for.

Regrets

A certain scene in my childhood keeps gushing to my mind recently, and in it, I was looking at my watch, counting as each second became history. I still remember clearly that I was thinking to myself, why time crawls by so slowly. But no matter how slow it was, enough seconds do become weeks and years, and I seem to find new ways to shorten the second with each passing day, but I have never been able to lengthen the moments which I hope would last just a little longer.

My friend told me not to have any regrets, whatever I decide to do. I guess whatever it is, I must choose not to run away from myself.

Folds

A heap of folds I casted away after I have drawn them.

Fantasy

Is it but a elusive dream or a twist of playful fate that I grow to see her in the eye of my mind, so closely and vividly that I can hide from the tangible face and still seek solace in my little room of bed and window? Fantasy, so they say, belongs to the realm of dreams, buried deep under heavy thoughts and feelings of bulk, which escapes only in great darkness, like a thief or a ghost, or the dragons of myths waiting to be slayed, through little holes which fill up at a mere suggestion of a faint staggering light. Why should I submerge in such frivolously delicate waters and let my skin fold itself many times over? Why do I bask in the invisible and refuse the heat? I only hope for time which pushes the birth and kills the dying.

Mountains

The jagged mountains thrust above the ground into the thin air and all turned grey.

A Mellow Struggle

I wrestled with myself and I won. But I lost too.

Rush

Rushing towards you.

The Autumn Mood

My mood is so yellow today, of withered leaves and the setting sun. The waves crash against the shores and break into a million pieces and they keep coming not knowing why. But I do know and who else would if I do not. My mind is plagued with ambiguity, different ways admonishing each other. A fall, just like a fall, like the leaf swaying gently in the air and falling slowly but without a ground to fall to, constantly in the air. It is like I have the answers but I do not have the questions. Like the land giving way to the sea but Earth still remains round. And yes, this is how I feel today.

Obstacles

I guess if we can see the obstacles, they can be overcome.

Vast

Some photo I have taken on the Tranz-Alpine train in New Zealand. Let me pack my room and resume my drawing/painting soon. It had been ages since I last touched my paintbrush and charcoal.

Conquering Fears

I think a large part of life has to do with conquering fears. I remember being afraid of the dark when I was young, and just suddenly one day I did not want to fear anymore. So I woke up in the middle of the night and started walking about in the house without switching on the lights, and I was no longer scared. And that has always been my way of conquering fears, to find a day of immense courage and do the feared. Like my fear of drawing, fear of speaking to a crowd, fear of physical exhaustion, fear of the unknown, fear of heights, fear of appearing stupid to someone I am attracted to, fear of unhappiness, and the fear of failing. The worst is death and we all have to conquer the fear of death someday.

Paradise

Precisely that we cannot know of a heaven that we search for it.

Home Coming

Time to take off.